I went on my usual run around the Rose Bowl this morning and as I ran I found myself waiting for a motorcycle to pass me, but no motorcycle came today. I actually haven’t seen a motorcycle on my run for a few weeks now. It is “winter” in Los Angeles, and at a balmy 45 degrees that is probably why they’re not out as much this time of year.
You see, ever since my Dad died in a tragic motorcycle accident last year, I have started to find comfort in this 3.1 miles loop around the Rose Bowl. It’s a popular place to run, walk or bike because it is so beautiful and there is a great path all the way around the stadium, golf course, parking lot and soccer fields. I started running here over a year ago I have become a bit obsessed with this loop and I don’t like to run anywhere else.
Because typically every time I have come here to run a motorcycle will whiz by me, sometimes even a pack of them. In the beginning the motorcycles made me mad and stung my heart. The sound of the motorcycles coming up behind me punched me right in the gut. Most would think that coming back to run here would be like torturing myself, like pouring salt in wounds right? But after awhile I got used to them and in a weird way have depended on them.
I’m no therapist but I think the Rose Bowl loop has become my grieving ground. My father was cremated and so I have no specific place to go and see him, feel him or talk to him. Instead, I look to the blue sky and feel the warmth of the sun to remember him and smile at him.
I miss the motorcycles. I can’t wait for Spring.
This is a Christmas video I created for my Dad last year….Merry Christmas Dad.
This is not a typical article you would find here because death, it’s not so savvy or sassy. But I heard about Mary from the Mama Mary Show and the Dead Dads Club putting on “Hugs for the Holidays” for those grieving lost ones during the holidays and I felt inspired to participate.